Our Hospital Stay

Shortly after my husband returned home, I noticed I was having an increase in contractions. I wasn't sure if they were Braxton Hicks, because they were not painful; however, my contractions with my son did not become noticeable until about 6 cm. Therefore, I decided to be safer and than sorry, and let my doctor know. At my next appointment I told her I was having an increase in contractions and also asked her to do a vaginal exam. I reminded her about how I was 3 1/2 centimeters at 33 weeks with Nolan, and felt as if I should be checked. She obliged and did a vaginal ultrasound to check my cervical length. Upon doing the check, she noted that I was already 50% effaced. Thus, I was instructed to remain on bed rest until my next appointment and evaluation.

I went home and promptly began bed rest, the best I could. Sometimes it was a bit difficult with a two year old, but I did try to remain at least in a sitting position. However, a couple days after that doctors appointment I noticed several contractions. The doctor informed me if I had four or more in an hour, that I should call the office. So after I noticed four in an hour, I did just that. I was instructed to go to the hospital for evaluation.

On the way to the hospital, I noticed the contractions had stopped. However, I decided it would be best to be evaluated anyways. Once I got there, I was instructed to do a clean catch urine specimen. They assumed that it could have been brought on by a UTI. I assured them I did not have a UTI, but allowed them to continue with their examination. Upon doing a vaginal exam, they noted that I was 2 centimeters dilated. This began to make me worried, knowing I was now 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. It seems as if Eliza was planning on making her arrival soon. I suppose it aroused fear in the doctors as well, because they decided to admit me. Their plan was to administer steroid shots within 12 hours, to develop her lungs. My first shot was received at 9 p.m. and I was transferred from Labor and Delivery to the Post Delivery Unit. Austin stayed with me for a couple of hours, but had to return home to take care of our son. So I spent the night at the hospital.

The next morning I woke up fairly early. I guess it is easier to say, I never slept. However, I woke up at 6 a.m. and waited for my next shot. I couldn't wait to get back home to my husband and son. Nine A.M. came and so did the horrid shot. However, I was happy to know that my daughter was being protected in case something were to happen.

Around 11 A.M. a nurse came in to inform me they were going to place me on the monitor for an hour before I went home. The nurse struggled getting Eliza on the monitor and made several calls down to the Labor and Delivery Unit to see if they could see her on the monitor. After several minutes of plugging and unplugging things, they finally had success. My nurse left and I gladly sat listening to the sound of my daughters heartbeat.

However, that joy quickly turned to fear. I noticed as my daughters heartbeat started to slow down. She usually stayed in the 150's but when I looked at the monitor she was in the 60's. I knew that wasn't good. Then my room phone rang. It was a L&D nurse. She asked me if my nurse was still in the room. I responded with a "no". Her next question was "what side are you laying on?". I told her my right and she told me to flip over "now". I did so quickly, but there was no change. Eliza's heartrate was still in the 60's.

Within 30 seconds 3 nurses came running in, out of breath. They ran all the way from L&D to assess Eliza. They took turns flipping me back and forth, without a budge in Eliza's heart rate. They placed an oxygen tank on my face and without hesitation, they unhooked me from the machine and started pushing me as fast as they could down the hall.

All of the world's worst thoughts entered my mind. "Am I losing my baby?", "Are they going to have to do a C-Section?", "Can I call my husband?", "Is she going to have developmental issues from being born this early?". It was certainly a horrid experience. They rushed me into a room and hooked me back up to a monitor. To their, and certainly my, relief, Eliza was back in the 120's. That was certainly better than in the 60's and certainly reassuring.

They decided to leave me on the L&D floor to assess her a little while longer. I called my husband and told him he needed to get to the hospital ASAP. They weren't sure what direction to take and they had me located next to the OR just in case they needed to rush me for an Emergency C-Section. That to me was worrisome, enough.

However, shortly after I spoke to Austin, she deceled again. This time, not as long. They were able to get her heart rate back up, much faster than before.

After Austin got to the hospital, we spoke with the on call doctor. He informed us that they were going to contact a Fetal Medicine Specialist. This specialist would know if it was important to take Eliza now. We went to the ultrasound room and watched Eliza on this giant screen. I remember watching her sticking her tongue out and then sucking her thumb. It was so adorable. My baby was doing all the things I couldn't wait to watch her do when she arrived.

After the ultrasound, our doctor came back in. He informed us that the Fetal Medicine Specialist noticed a wad of cord next to Eliza. He believed that she was just rolling over on it, and that she was just fine. They decided that I no longer needed around the clock monitoring and that I could return to Post Delivery floor. Instead they decided that they would monitor me for one hour, every six hours.

As I went back up stairs, I remember being scared. I enjoyed the comfort of hearing Eliza's heartbeat for those several hours. I kept wondering, "what if she decels in between monitoring?" No one would know. However, I put my trust in the professionals. After all, they went to school to do this for a living.

My first monitoring went well. No decels. Just a happy, healthy baby. However, my next hour of monitoring wouldn't go so well. At 3:00 in the morning, they came in to listen to Eliza again. After about 10 minutes, they noticed there was not a variation in her heart rate. They wanted, within five minutes,  to be a difference of 10 points. So if her heart was 156 it should go up to 166 or down to 146. But, that wasn't happening. They decided to send me back down to L&D to be monitored closely.

After being transferred back to L&D, she had another episode of heart decels within five minutes of arriving on the floor. Once again, nurses ran in and started flipping me back and forth. I also had nurses stripping me out of my clothes and back into a gown; while another nurse put oxygen back on my face. I remember one nurse saying: "This is going to be her birthday. She is going to be born today." That echoed in my ear, and all I could do was cry. "She's too early..." I remember whispering behind the oxygen mask.

But she wasn't born. They didn't take me to the OR and they didn't deliver her. Rather, they sent me for another ultrasound. This time, I was by myself, since my husband had went back home the night before. It was similar to the ultrasound I had had before, only this time they checked the Biophysical Profile. This was to measure the health of Eliza and make sure that she was not in any sort of distress. She scored an 8 out of 10 which was okay. The Fetal Medicine Specialist told me, "I do not see taking a 31 week old baby. She is safer inside."

So once again I was sent back upstairs. I was told I would have the one hour monitoring every six hours and then after 24 hours, I would be released. Twenty-four hours later, I was sent home. I was glad to be back with my family, and I certainly missed my son a lot. However, I was a bit worried. Those monitors gave me security. However, they weren't worried so I decided I didn't need to be either.

That night I laid down around midnight, and fell asleep the same way I always did--with my hand on my belly. I had a non-stress test set for the next morning at 11:00 A.M., so I set my alarm to be up at 8:00 A.M. My husband stayed awake a bit longer and came to bed around 2:00 A.M.

The next morning at 8:00 A.M. I woke up and took a shower. After my shower, I ate some breakfast and sat down. I noticed Eliza hadn't moved yet, but I assumed she was still asleep. Around 10:00 Austin woke up and sat on the couch with me. I noted to him that I hadn't felt Eliza, but he reassured me she was still asleep.

So I left the house around 10:30, and headed to the doctors office. After being called back, I did the routine blood pressure and the routine urine. Then I was escorted back to where they do the non-stress test. The nurse moved the dopppler around my stomach, but was having a difficult time finding her heartbeat. I assumed it was because my placenta was anterior, which made it somewhat difficult to find.

She called in the nurse practitioner, who I had met with several times before. We made small talk, as she used the doppler to find my daughter's heartbeat. However, she couldn't. She asked me if I had felt her move, and I responded with "not yet". Then I started to get worried. I knew that wasn't a good question to ask, combined with the difficulty of locating her heartbeat. They took me to an ultrasound room, where they were going to do a scan.

I laid down and looked at the screen. There was her head...and her body...but that faint flicker that used to be her heart was no longer flickering.

You know the war movies where they simulate a bomb, and everything goes silent? That is exactly what happened. The death of my daughter was a bomb going off, and everything stopped. I couldn't hear, I couldn't think. I was numb. All I could do was let out a blood-curdling scream. My worst nightmare had come true...my daughter was dead. I wouldn't be taking a baby home.