Shortly after finding out our baby was a sweet baby girl, it was time for my husband to leave for basic. From there, things changed dramatically. I was now responsible for taking care of a two year old, on my own, while he was away. This was certainly a shock for me and my son.
I must say first, and foremost, that I respect the silent ranks in any military branch. Picking up the pieces, in which a husband has to leave behind, can be very draining emotionally and physically. Adding hormones to that mix was a recipe for disaster.
However, this gave time for my son and I to bond. Considering it was him and I everyday, all day, we certainly leaned on each other for support. Although he is only two, he certainly helped me get through the long days. He brought a smile to my face, when the thought of missing his daddy entered my mind. He brought laughter to my day, when at night I felt like crying. He is such an amazing boy.
It also gave me time to bond with Eliza. I was able to sit at home and create a mother-daughter relationship fairly early. It seemed as if my hand was permanently fixed to my stomach.
I felt like she already had so much personality for being so small. For example, she hated the sound of my stomach. If it had been a while since I had ate, and my stomach would growl, she would certainly make her dislike known. She would squirm around until it stopped. She also didn't like when I ate or drank really cold things. I suppose it made her cold, and she wasn't too fond of that either. Regardless, there were many times when she made me laugh.
One of my funniest memories was when Nolan was laying his head on my stomach. He was fixated on the TV, when all of a sudden, Eliza kicked him in the face. I chuckle as I write this, because to this day, is one of the funniest memories I have. After she kicked him, Nolan jerked his face of my belly quickly...and the stared...and stared some more. After sitting puzzled for several seconds he looked at me with big eyes and asked "what was that?!". I suppose they already had a sibling rivalry.
However, I believe my favorite thing to witness, was the loving bond Eliza and Nolan had already made. Nolan became obsessed with my belly. He was constantly rubbing it and talking to her. Many times, he would go get cars or other toys, and talk to her about his toy. He'd show her it, although she couldn't see it, and tell her all about it. It brought tears to my eyes to watch my son being so gentle with his new baby sister. I knew he was going to be such a great big brother. And somehow I knew, they both already loved each other.
There were many times when Eliza was still. Then when her brother would talk to her, she would just move and kick up and storm. It was if she was saying "I love you too!" It was amazing seeing their bond. However, I suppose she was too excited to get out.
Shortly after Austin left, I did start experiencing contractions. I decided to go to the hospital and have them evaluated. Once again, they gave me the horrible Terbutaline shot they gave me when I had preterm labor with Nolan. However, this preterm labor was coming much sooner that it did with Nolan. With Nolan I had preterm labor at 33 weeks. I was only 22 weeks with Eliza. There would be no way she would survive if she was born.
I remember having that exact conversation with my husband while he was away. I told him, if she was born now, she wouldn't survive. I told him, I don't think I could give birth to a baby, to just not bring it home. I couldn't understand how anyone could do that. How they would move on with their lives. How they would continue living. The thought was like a nightmare...little did I know, that terrible nightmare became a reality for me.
Shortly after my husband got to basic, he was considered a layover. In other words, he had to stay in reception for another week. He was having troubles coping with the change and being so far away from Nolan, Eliza, and myself. To add to the stress, he knew I was having issues with preterm contractions. Everyday I was feeling contractions. As they would eventually subside, I never returned to the hospital. However, my husband felt as if this was a warning for an impending preterm birth. Considering my son was early, he felt he needed to be home. He felt as if she came too early, she might have problems.Thus, he refused to ship to basic. He spent a few more weeks in basic, and then eventually returned back home to us.
Having him home was so wonderful. I missed him so much, and certainly gained a new found respect for all he does for us. When he got home, we spent every second together. I couldn't let him out of our sight. It also made me excited that he would be there for the rest of my pregnancy. With his arrival, I knew that he wouldn't miss hers. I knew he would get to hear her first cries and witness her first breath, as I was so scared he might have missed.
Little did I know...neither one of us would get that wonderful opportunity.
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