I know this blog is to express the joy that Eliza brought into my life and the sadness her leaving brought as well; but without Nolan, her life wouldn't have been as impacting.
I loved Nolan the second I found out I was pregnant. We did just as the doctor instructed us, and waited 3 months before trying again. As soon as 3 months had passed, we began trying to conceive.
The pregnancy test I use advertises that it can be used 5 days before a missed period. So, 5 days before my expected period, I decided to test. I remember I got up that morning for work. I used the restroom...and test, and then proceeded to feed my cat. After getting my cat some food, I returned to the bathroom to examine the results of my pregnancy test. Once again, there was a missing "not" in front of the word "pregnant".
Thinking back, I'm not sure why I made the next decision, but I called into work. I guess it seemed like the best thing to do. After all, I knew it would be too hard to contain.
Afterwards, I ran back to the bedroom and woke my husband up to tell him our great news. Sadly, he didn't seem all too excited at 7:00 in the morning. I laid back down and just smiled. I smiled so much it hurt. It was nearly impossible for me to fall back asleep. My mind was racing and my heart was pumping.
This time around, Austin and I decided to be discreet about our new pregnancy. We decided at 3 months we would tell everyone. It was so hard going back and telling people when we lost our first two. I didn't, and couldn't, go through that a third time.
Right after I found out I was pregnant with this baby, I started the prenatal vitamins; but also a baby aspirin regimen. My doctor suggested I start a baby aspirin once a day, because micro-clotting was likely the cause of my first two miscarriages. I was more than willing to try anything at this point.
The first trimester seemed to go so slowly. However, I made it past 4 weeks, and then past 6 weeks. I was past the two stages in which I lost my first two. However, I knew I wasn't out of the woods. Twelve weeks was supposed to be the magic number. After 12 weeks, your chance of losing a baby was at less than 1%. Those odds were good enough for me.
So after an uneventful 12 weeks, we shouted it out to the world...or so it seemed. We told EVERYONE. I even told people I didn't know. It seemed like I always happened to work that tidbit of information into any conversation.
Each week came, and each week passed. My pregnancy was fairly uneventful. Each week I fell more in love with the baby growing inside of me. My favorite time during my pregnancy, was when only I could feel him kicking. It was like a little secret only him and I shared together.
Around 18 weeks we found out it was a boy. We decided to name him Nolan Wade. Wade was my husband's Stepfather's middle name. Considering his Stepfather was such a huge influence in his life, we felt it would be an honor to name this baby after him.
It wasn't until 33 weeks that my pregnancy became eventful. At 33 weeks I felt a strong pain in my stomach. I called the doctor and they decided to bring me in for a non-stress test. The test wasn't for a few more hours, so I took it easy until then. About an hour before my test, I called the OB/GYN back. I told them I hadn't felt anymore pain and didn't feel as if I should bother them and come in. They reassured me they wanted me to come in. I felt as if they were just reassuring me that my pocketbook was just going to be light; but I obliged.
The non-stress didn't take long. I was hooked up and told I would be monitored for about thirty minutes. After about twenty minutes, the doctor came back in. She told me I was having contractions every five minutes. I looked at her stunned. She then looked at the monitor and then back at me. She asked if I was able to feel "that". I felt a tightening, but thought it was my little bundle of joy. I told her yes, and she responded with, "that's a contraction".
That was a bit scary. I told her I feel it quiet often and always thought it was my son. So she decided to do a vaginal exam. Upon doing an exam she found that I was 3 1/2 centimeters dilated. I was in labor!!! They sent me straight to the hospital to stop labor.
I was given a drug called Terbutaline. In short, it is a very ornery medicine, that makes you shake uncontrollably. However, as much as I hated it, I would take it a thousand times more if it meant keeping my little one safe.
After my contractions were stopped, I was sent home on strict bed rest and on a prescription for Procardia. Procardia is a medicine that is usually used in heart patients, however, pregnant women can take it to relax the muscles in the uterus and prolong pregnancy.
The next few weeks were torture. I had to take the medicine every 6 hours and I also had to rely on a man to do the house chores. As I said in a previous entry, it wasn't until we moved in together that I realized how messy he was...and it wasn't until I was on bed rest that I realized how particular I was.
Three weeks later, the Procardia could do no more. I was in labor. The time was finally here. After all my loss, I was about to gain so much... I was about to have my baby.
Labor didn't take long. I suppose because I had done the majority of it without knowing in the prior weeks. I got to the hospital at about 1:30 p.m. on August 26th, 2010. My husband and I sat in the room and watched as my contractions continued to grow. While the pain was not intense, I was certainly starting to feel them after a couple of hours.
My husband used his wit to keep me occupied...and to eventually break my water. It was the most awkward feeling, but when my husband told me a joke, and I laughed, my water broke. It was just a sudden popping feeling in my stomach. From there the pain was excruciating.
At 9:15 it was time to push. By 9:30, I had a 6 pound 5.5 ounce baby boy. He was so perfect in so many ways. Looking into his eyes, I fell in love immediately. It was so intense the amount of love I could feel for one person. He brought so much joy to my life, in such an instant. That blanket I folded and put away, after my second miscarriage, now had a baby that could be wrapped inside of it.
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