A New Flaherty

After my son was born, the following two years flew by. It was amazing to watch as my son grew into a little person. These two years were filled with learning how to understand his needs (only if they came with manuals), teaching him to walk, teaching him to talk, and so much more. There were so many great things about being a mother. And while there were many sleepless nights, I wouldn't take an extra hours of sleep over spending time with my son, any day! 

Many times it made me long for the two I had lost. I always thought, if I could still be promised Nolan, I would love to have the other two that had slipped away silently. And while I can't take back time, I always looked toward my future. 

That future was developing so well. I had just recently married my boyfriend of 7 years and had a beautiful son with him. He was joining the Armed Forces, and we were going to be established in our future. I had the perfect little family, and it was about to be just all the more perfect.

Being a busy mom, I sometimes forgot to track my menstrual cycle. However, one day it dawned on me that I might be a little late. So I went to my calendar, and started counting from the last period I remembered having. I counted over and over and over again...but the same result. I was over a week late. Considering "Aunt Flow" never missed her arrival time, I knew I needed a test. 

Once again I resulted to my old faithful--the digital test. I wasn't too nervous when taking the test, because I assumed that I miscalculated my period. That had to be it! There was no way I could be pregnant. However, to my surprise, once again there was a missing "not" in front of "pregnant". 

I remember feeling my heart stop. All I could think is, so many things are about to change. My whole life is about to change. My little baby, playing outside with his father, was no longer going to be my baby. He was going to be the big brother...the dreaded big brother. In being a big sister, I know all too well how much being the oldest is not always the best. It always seemed like I was overlooked, and while it was not on purpose, it certainly wasn't the best feeling in the world. I was already hating that possibility for Nolan. 

Not only was I worried about how Nolan would take this, but how our family unit would deal with a pregnancy, my husband leaving for the Army, and our impending move to wherever the Army may send us. It became more stressful, when upon checking my due date, I realized I would be due only two weeks after my husband was to return from basic. With Nolan's early arrival, it scared me that he may miss the birth of his second born child. I was scared he wouldn't get to hear the baby's first cry and witness the baby's first breath. 

However, as time went on, we certainly became more comfortable with the idea of bringing a new Flaherty into the family.

I wanted to wait until I was out of my first trimester, the same as I did with Nolan, but I couldn't contain myself. Plus, we had found our miracle cure...the baby aspirin. The baby aspirin helped me carry Nolan to term, and I intended to do the same with this baby. 

So aside from constantly hugging the toilet, I was overjoyed with having a new baby growing inside of me. I even started telling Nolan that there was a baby in my belly. At first, he certainly didn't understand. He knew what a baby was, and he couldn't figure out how or where a baby was in my belly. Nonetheless, he started to be very gentle around me and my stomach. Occasionally, he would even rub it and say "awww, it's a baby".

We even started picking out baby names before we knew the baby's sex. When we finalized our decision, it was between Elijah Ray Flaherty for a boy and Eliza Rae Flaherty for a girl.  Ray was my father's middle name, and we wanted to honor him in the naming of our child. The similarities between Elijah and Eliza, however, were not intended. I suppose we just really like the sound and flow of those names, and that is how they became so similar.

So "Baby E" became the name, until we knew the sex. I was getting so excited about "Baby E" and couldn't wait to find out the sex. I was leaning more for a boy (I think because Nolan was easy thus far to raise). However, everyone else was leaning for a girl. Even my husband. He kept saying, "I already have my boy. Now I want my daddy's girl". 

So when the time came, we went to find out the sex of "Baby E" as a family. I remember Nolan kept pointing to the screen and saying "baby, baby". 

They started the ultrasound off by doing the measuring and making sure everything was okay. I remember thinking, "can't you look at that in a minute...I need to know the sex of this baby now". Heck, they made me wait 19 weeks...there was no way I could possibly wait five more minutes. 

So then it was announced. "Baby E" was officially Eliza Rae Flaherty. While it was not my boy, I soon became very fond of referring to her as my daughter. Shortly after, I remember telling my husband, "I have grown fond of knowing she is a girl. I think now, if they told me they made a mistake and it was a boy, I would be disappointed". 

So that was that. I was now going to be responsible for teaching her how to do her hair, her makeup, and about pesky "Aunt Flow". Austin had already made it relatively clear that he wasn't even going to touch on that subject down the road. His job, in rearing a girl, was to make sure that no boys stepped foot around her. 

So I guess it was easy to say, that we certainly started including her arrival in a future dreams and hopes. Although she was not born, she was already so much apart of our family. She was already a very much loved daughter, sister, granddaughter, and cousin.